


She Brings Me Sugar

by What_we_are



Category: The Killing
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Femslash, Missing Scene, s04e04 Dream Baby Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:12:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_we_are/pseuds/What_we_are
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><br/>Linden worries that Holder has started using again, so she asks Caroline. </p><p>Title from "Sugar" by Tori Amos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Brings Me Sugar

“I’m sorry. I should have called.” 

Linden glanced at her watch and apologetically back up at the Caroline. “Shiiiit. I shouldn't have called either. I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to bed.”

_Stupid. Think things through, Linden._

“So, he’s okay then?” Caroline asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She was wearing a big white tee shirt, possibly Holder’s. Probably Holder’s. The cotton was thin, Linden noticed without looking down. She stayed focused on the woman’s face while taking in the periphery.

_This is your partner’s girlfriend. Keep it in your pants._

Linden had a difficult time talking normally. “Yeah. Yes.”

“Come in. Tell me what’s going on.”

The detective complied. 

“Did he tell you what happened with his sister and her kids?”

“No. I’m here because I suspect he’s using again.”

Caroline didn’t seem shocked. “But you don’t know for sure?”

“No.”

"You're soaked. Here, you can put your shoes over there. I'll hang your coat." 

Linden set her boots next to Caroline's. She thought it only took a second, but when she looked up, Caroline was wearing a robe.

Linden stood between the entryway and the kitchen. She knew how to conduct an interview, but sometimes conversations were difficult. Caroline leaned on the counter between the fridge and the stove.

“I’m pregnant.”

“He told me.” Linden wasn't sure if she should say congratulations. When she was pregnant with Jack nobody had said congratulations. “He thinks it will be a boy,” she shared.

Caroline lifted the teakettle and set it back on the burner, clicked the gas to high. She started taking tea boxes out of the cupboard. "I didn't know about meth, but he was drunk last night. He yelled at his nephew. He told me I didn't know him." Caroline stopped digging and turned to Linden. "He told his sister that it was her fault her husband killed himself."

"That's awful. I'm sorry." She hoped her voice sounded sincere rather than deadpan. It was one thing for Holder to lash out at her, but his family deserved better. Liz and the little boy had stayed at his bedside at the hospital.

Caroline found the box she wanted. Her eyes caught on the domestic bear family scene and started to tear.

_Why did I take off my shoes? Why did I even come here? She doesn't have any answers. His sister has known him her whole life and she doesn't have any answers. He's using again because the secret I need him to keep is driving him to it. Did I think I could murder our boss and it wouldn't reverberate beyond the three of us there that night? Caroline is going to cry right in front of me and I’m going to have to say something optimistic about Holder’s chances of pulling it together. It's true he would be a good parent, if he wasn't so fucked up. Wouldn't we all?_

Caroline’s voice was sad, but resolute.“I’m going to have the baby, whether he can handle being with us or not. You have a son right?”

“Jack. He’s fifteen. He's living with his father in Chicago right now." A moment passed before she continued. "Something will work out. You don’t need to decide everything tonight.” It was the best she could come up with.

“Have you and Steven kissed?”

The sudden change of topic caught Linden off guard.

Caroline pressed on without an answer. “Have you slept together?”

That one Linden could answer quickly. “No. We’re partners. There was one kiss. Not even a kiss. It was after- ”

“. . . trauma, and peril, and life-or-death split second decisions, and dead teenage girls. I get it. If I had your job . . . I don’t know how I’d deal with it.”

_She needs to hear that Holder loves her, and you’re not a threat. Does Holder love her? He's excited about the imaginary baby boy, but he hasn't talked about Caroline. Why are you putting yourself in the middle of this?_

“You’re very brave.” Caroline stated as she took the boiling kettle off the burner. “I feel butch if I change the windshield wipers on my car, but you’re out there with a gun, dealing with difficult men every day.”

“I know for a fact that there are a least a couple of difficult men in the district attorneys' office.”

“That’s true,” Caroline conceded as she handed her the herbal tea she hadn't said she wanted. “Just take the compliment Sarah. I’m saying I admire you.”

Linden looked down at the herbal tea in her hands and noticed that Caroline’s toenails were painted red. Linden’s own feet were concealed in grey socks that Ellen had knitted.

_Caroline's red toenails. Those beautiful feet in hot bath water. My tongue between her toes, slow and shocking. I’d hold her foot steady and lick. Foreshadow the other things I want to do to her. She might be ticklish or embarrassed, but I’d reassure her. I’d soothe her. Kiss everything. Foot. Ankle. Up and up. Lick by lick. Smooth white thighs. And her sweetness between them._

“Did somebody make those socks for you?” Caroline asked her, in the real world, where Linden's head should have been.

_She’s standing close. She called me butch. Maybe she was hoping Holder had kissed me, to give her an excuse to do the same._

“My mom,” she answered.

_Why lie? She’d probably eat it up, knowing I had a shitty childhood and keep in touch with my social worker and her wife. Leave. Make an excuse. Get out of here before you break Holder’s heart. "Sensei in the blood sport of life." He's an idiot. "BFF." You need him. You need his loyalty or you’ll be in prison. Find someone else for the night. The bars are closing._

“You wanna sit in the living room? Drink our tea?"

“I should be going.”

“Why?” Caroline asked. She either didn't know the effect she had on Linden or she was pretending. “There’s no ferry at 2 AM. You should stay. The couch is actually pretty comfortable.”

Caroline went over and took pillows and a copy of Real Simple off the couch.

Linden protested weakly. "You don't have to do that. I just came over to speak with you." 

Linden took a seat across from the couch, out of Caroline's way. Physically, she did nothing but hold the tea that was still too hot to drink.

_I can do this. Sleep for a couple hours then bail._

Caroline made up the couch with pale pink sheets and a white pillow case. "Sorry these don't match." 

“Please," Linden said dismissively. "I'd sleep in my car otherwise, or at my desk at the station. This is very nice.”

Caroline sat on the newly laid out sheet. "I know you came over to talk about Stephen, but I just don't have anything else to say about it. He's fucking up. I talked to his sister for a hour today, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Except get him in trouble with his job. That's your call. I'm not going to tell on him."

"I hadn't even considered it. He's my partner." In her mind that explained it, but she elaborated for Caroline. "I promise I'll keep an eye on him."

"I know you will. I will too, if he'll let me." Caroline wiped her eyes and stood up. "I'll let you get some rest." She abandoned her untouched tea and clicked off all the lights except for the lamp near Linden's pillow. "See you in the morning Sarah. I don't drink coffee anymore, but feel free to make some espresso if you get up first." 

"Thank you. This is very nice."

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight Caroline. Thank you."

Linden stripped down to underwear and gray tee shirt. Her pants, bra, socks, and hair band, she left in a pile on the floor. She made herself comfortable under the sheet and pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch.

Caroline was up, doing something in the kitchen, or checking the front door. When she came through and saw Linden’s red hair undone and draped over the white pillow, she said “oh” in quiet surprise.

Linden opened her eyes and smiled. “What? Did you forget I was here?”

Caroline shook her head. “You look like a Pre-Raphaelite painting.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Oil paintings . . . I had a calendar. Your hair is beautiful.”

Linden didn't know what to say, so she said nothing.

"Do you want me to switch off that lamp? It's shining right on your face." 

"Oh. Yeah. I mean, I can do it."

But Caroline was already in close, clicking it off. It seemed like she took longer than necessary to do it. She was in so close, her breasts almost near Linden's face. 

Linden wasn't used to sexual tension stretching out so long like this. She usually just got what she wanted, without thinking about the consequences. _Really, Linden. You've been here less than an hour. And you want points for self-control?_

Then it was dark and Caroline was walking away. Linden could hear her steps. Time passed and there were no sounds coming from her room. Her door was open.

_Okay. That's it. Crisis averted. Go to sleep._

The couch was surprisingly comfortable, but she couldn't settle. She flipped onto her stomach.

_It's probably less than fifteen steps to Caroline's bed. She might be awake and thinking about me too. What if she's asleep and thinking about me? She thinks I'm something I'm not, just because I'm the only female detective in the precinct. She admires me. Jesus Christ. If she knew the half of it. At least the Plan B worked and that's over with. I have my body back. It's just me. Just an unfit mother/murderer._

Linden heard Caroline get out of bed and enter the room. She stood so silently, Linden wondered if she was there at all.

It wasn't light in the apartment, but it was light enough. Linden propped herself up on an elbow, conscious of how her hair fell and the effect that would have on Caroline. 

Caroline didn't ease into it the way Linden expected she would. She started by mouthing Linden's nipple, breathing impossibly hot breath through the cotton of her shirt.

Linden's need pushed all of fears and doubts out. When their mouths met it was perfect. Caroline kissed Linden down onto the couch and pressed her entire length against her. Their thighs slot together, offset with each other’s, so there was contact were they needed it most.

Caroline knew what she was doing. She flexed her thigh and Linden moaned.

“He can’t ever know,” Linden gasped.

“I know.”

Their eyes searched each other’s.

_Is one of us strong enough to break away and do the right thing? Please let her be weak. Gorgeous, sexy, and weak._

Linden tried to make it a little easier on her conscience. “Just this one time.”

Caroline smoothed her hand over that red hair. “Well, we better make it count then.”

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe it wasn't sexual, but _something_ happened between Caroline and Linden. They had an awkward first meeting at Holder’s apartment, on what turned out to be Valentine’s Day (Scared and Running). Then the next time we see them together, Linden is yelling at Caroline, demanding her help on the warrant for Colonel Rayne (Truth Asunder). “Caroline! We need a warrant approved, right now!" From what we'd seen, they were barely acquaintances.
> 
> When I read through this again, I noticed the term "unfit mother/murderer" could be assumed to have something to do with Linden taking the-morning-after-pill. That was NOT my intention. It's about Jack and Skinner.


End file.
